Sharing Wisdom

I found this while looking for a document and thought I would post.

Two weeks ago I was fortunate enough to find myself at a resort just outside of town. My plan was to relax, rejuvenate, catch up on some sleep, and to basically escape the real world that I live in. Yoga, pilates, boot camp, hiking, photography, cooking classes, and everything you can imagine was all an option. They also had challenge courses that all took place well above the ground. Being afraid of heights I steered clear of these. After a day of pampering I perused the wall of classes. Quantum Leap II stared back at me each time I looked it's way. The description of being 35 feet in the air and walking into the unknown really didn't have any appeal to me. the sign up list was full, but I still found myself signing our names to the waiting list. I thought this gutsy enough of a challenge.

My girlfriend and I showed up at the scheduled time expecting a room full of thrill seekers only to find the guide and each other. All other participants had ditched out for whatever reason leaving only the two of us. What did these 20 people know that we didn't?! We decided to be brave and take the ten minute walk into the desert to check it out. We could always change our minds and run. My mind raced wondering what I had gotten myself into. I practiced breathing to calm myself but just thinking about looking over a bridge makes the arches in my feet turn to stone. This had to be safe. There are surely handles to hold onto and a net, possibly even a lounge to pause in, half way up. These were my thoughts along the way. Then I saw it. A 35 foot wooden telephone pole with staples placed on each side spanning the way up to a very narrow platform, not even the size of my cutting board at home. I couldn't move, I just stared in disbelief and then realized I was getting into a harness...on my own.

It was a little difficult climbing up but realizing that I had to figure out how to get up onto that tiny little plank was what was really on my mind. There were no handles. I steered clear of looking down as I knew it would make it harder to continue. I had to close my eyes a few times and remember to breathe in order to keep going. My new focus was not on the amount of space between myself and the desert floor, it was now set on what I had to do next. I kept climbing and climbing and sooner than I thought, reached the top. The wind was blowing so hard that the pole was swaying back and forth. I remember the wind being so loud, I kept stalling, hoping it would die down, but reality was still a part of me and I knew it would not. I was shocked to find that my body knew exactly what to do in order to stand up on the plank. My right knee moved slowly, then my left until I found myself in a squat before straightening my legs under me.

On top I found a calm that I had never experienced before. The sights were simply incredible. Looking into the clear blue sky and mountains close enough to touch was something I had never seen before. Well above the tree lines, everything looked different, and felt different. Surprisingly, I did not have a problem walking off the plank. I counted to two, and stepped off into open air. I dropped 3-4 feet before being lowered to the ground.

Pure exhilaration!

I took way from this experience so many things. I found confidence in myself that I did not know existed. It gave me a chance to see that looking to myself when I am afraid is enough, that I can depend on myself, and that I am strong enough of a person to face the things that I fear. The one thing that really struck me as soon as my feet were safely on the ground was that in those 10 odd minutes of my life, I thought about nothing but myself. No family, what to make for dinner, the phone calls I needed to return...nothing. It was just me, a pole, and some serious will to succeed.

Indelible Jenn

I am always taken aback a little when someone that I have only met once, or even multiple times, calls me by my name or recognizes me in a crowd. I never think that people will remember me. It has always been this way for me. This has never bothered me, nor have I given it much thought throughout my life, until recently.

I was wavering back and forth between attending the second immersion this spring. I can't put a name to what made me second guess being a part of it as it was already paid for and my vacation time approved.

I decided to attend a yoga class a few weeks ago at the downtown studio. Upon arriving at the studio I was greeted with so much enthusiasm and delight that I was almost saddened by the thougth that I had actually forgotten how astounding being part of the kula felt. Drinking that fullness of open heart in, I stretched out my mat.

The word of the day was indelible. The studio was at capacity, the heat radiating, and the practice intense. Mid class, with sweat dripping from every pore, I heard my name. It was the teacher, an individual that I greatly respect yet rarely get to practice with, saying my name. He gave me a suggestion to reposition some part of my body. I don't even know if I altered my posture as I was overwhelmed that I actually heard my name in a sea of people. I paused, inhaled deeply, and exhaled fully.

That evening I sat down with my journal. I wrote about the delight in the receiving, the flow of the movement, and of being part of a community that I truly love. I contemplated the idea that perhaps I had the capacity to be lasting, to be permanent, and to be a mark that is not easily erased.

I did attend and complete the immersion with the aim to unclutter and spring clean from the inside out. I gained clarity of who I am and what I have to offer to myself, and to others. I know that I have made a few lasting impressions on some of my fellow yogis and longtime friends to be. I not only cleared out my closet, but really scrubbed the walls and wiped the cobwebs from the corners.

Among many things, I left with the essence that I am memorable because I deserve to be.